First of all, let me make it clear that the motive behind writing this post has nothing to do with the design in which I contemplate officializing my nuptials with my loved one. This is just an objective view and look into the shenanigans that characterize the so called special days.
It is a Monday, and at one given point or another I am bound just like most of you to digress from my expected and scheduled personal and professional obligations for the day. So, my digression led me to GISHUNGWA where I read through an interesting article. With this I realized just how much confusion and to what extent most of us want to go in the spirit of ‘officializing’ our union and finally getting to settle down as a married couple.
I will not put blame perse on anything as to why I believe people should look at things in a much more reasonable way other than the traditional and modern ways with which we do undertake these kinds of ceremonies. Such reasons that I would desire that people, especially ladies (yeah, I said it!) and parents take to consideration are;
- The simple and practical reason that life has become expensive
- That there will be life after the ceremony, full of challenges
- That the contributions to the event are non refundable
- That its you and not the rest of the ‘committee’ who wants what you want
- That there are other priorities such as putting up investment funds/ school funds…
All these are dependent on your level headedness and how practical and independent you want your life to be after the ceremony.
I have had the privilege of sitting on a number of committees, a few relatives, a few friends and most other people who just figured that I could fit in a given capacity, either as part of the crowd that can give some reasonable financial or offer logistical support. It is a great honour, really, the stress and confusion that peeps go throw in these kinds of engagements can be somewhat overwhelming. You definitely need people close to you and just about any kind of support that can be meaningful towards achieving your objective and intent.
To avert the risk of sounding like I am a doom advocate on the beautiful weddings, I wish to say that Iadmire the essence with which the parties involved the families, the friends, the associates, colleague and all sorts of people want to carry themselves and enjoy the day. There is a cord that builds with seeing your people and her people come together and sharing the dance, the jokes and showering you with endless blessings of how both of you have been great children and how they want to wish you the very best… There is a sense of beauty that comes with the commitment, the contributions, the fun, entertainment and such detail.
At the end of that given day you will do reviews and enjoy the videos, photographs and stories from all angles of how successful your day was and who did what or what. The amount of food that was served, shared and all that. The drinks, who danced wit who… who hooked up with who… you know…
With the kind of logistics, expenses and fatigue, (mind and soul) I have witnessed so far, I would say I am in agreement with Gishungwa on a number of things. I have also gotten to a point where a civil ceremony has started looking really good considering that most weddings in Kenya coastwise on average range between Kshs. 250,000 (approx USD 3200) to Kshs. 1,000,000 (approx USD 12,000) at least by the committees that I have sat on. I have major issues with asking people for money and/or help unless I am under absolute certainty that their help is what will help me cross my bridge. The theory I subscribe to thus is that if me and my fiancé do not have the money to finance the wedding fully then a civil wedding would be a good option or at least in church with our witnesses only then throw a small party later.
Noteworthy, is that my mind finally has started getting the nobility behind the idea of spending (getting stuck) the rest of my life with someone. Two years ago, telling me this would have earned you a long lecture on the other important and much more meaningful things in life. Maybe in a year, maybe in a couple of years; my worry still borders on just how long this feeling will last. Will I wake up and feel completely happy and content like someone who finally has managed to get a breakthrough on something they desire, or will I wake up and wonder why I even signed up in the first place? It’s a special thing (huh?) as it has been said before… people tire even when they are being paid to be there… (Career)… will I feel the boredom and fatigue that characterises such ventures… Wah! On the other hand, you are guaranteed of absolute (if you’re lucky) loyalty, support in good and bad (really?).
Questions still linger, Is it really worth spending all that money on one day, just for a function where you and the rest of the people invited (and uninvited) to feel good on a single day? As I have gathered in the last few years working as the Chair of The Events Planning & management chair of our workplace, people will always find fault no matter how flawless the event comes through. Catering for everybody’s needs and such kind of stuff…The amount of pressure and stress of planning the events at large, worth it? Isn’t the most important part that you are now joined together, do we have to invite the whole tribe, sub tribe, clan?
Personally, I guess from the influence of Economics and my skewed view on the purpose of such a union, I would desire to just find the most logical and least inconveniencing way to make this a beautiful and personalized way of sharing the union between me and my spouse.
Someone help me understand why incur such debt for a big wedding? Lest at the end of the function, Kung fu is embraced to settle?
Settling The Wedding Ish Right After?
Anyway, Have a Fabulous Loving February Month… My eyes have been found wondering near jewelery Stores lately… How I wish Nairobi had its own Vegas… Probability is that many would go get drunk enough, head to the said Vegas while inebriated, exchange vows and wake up to a hangover and probably with the girl already knocked up LOL!