What happens in Absence of Mentorship?

Two months ago, my personal life mentor left the country for a five year diplomatic assignment. It was an honour I shared for someone who has helped shape my life for the last about four years to be recognized from the highest Kenyan office and be given such representative assignment, politics and dynamics as such aside.

For someone used to mentorship and coaching that spans across all life aspects; career, family, relationships and money, it has been a bit difficult trying to put things together with little ‘reference and confirmation’ with a trusted person. It doesn’t help that I am not married yet… this is going to happen. That is all for now. Anyway, back to the point, how can one keep things in fold and on course with the regularity of mentorship missing in action?

Self coaching, finding support in focus people or groups and structured life plans can help one prioritize and achieve what they’ve set out to or desire to be and have.

It's time to take off...

Self Coaching;

I hold a strong belief and knowing that everyone always knows what they are doing at a given time. The right things we are exposing ourselves to and the stupid things we find ourselves part of resulting to blunders and mistakes… all are informed by choices we make. We are constantly always making decisions, choosing something over the other and such. With these we make habits, which become character by which we and others define ourselves with; success or failure. If we are at a constant decision making in everything we do, then we are responsible for coaching ourselves to realize what we want everyday, the near and far future, for us and for those around us. I am a believer in coaching as a way to get past obstacles, redefine your goals and create a plan for getting “unstuck.”

As Joseph Luciani, PhD says ‘Self-Coaching isn’t a regurgitation of other self-help methods, it’s a unique approach that has evolved over the past thirty-five years working with my patients. As I see it, positive thinking and positive affirmations are only 50% of the equation; the other 50% has to do with positively believing what you tell yourself. Bottom line, if you aren’t able to embrace and live what you’re telling yourself, there will be no change. Self-Coaching, by restoring your atrophied trust-muscle, allows you to create, choose, and embrace the life you want—the life you deserve!

Support and Focus Group;

As defined on Wikipedia, a focus group is a form of qualitative research in which a group of people are asked about their perceptions, opinions, beliefs and attitudes towards a product, service, concept, advertisement, idea, or packaging. One can also establish a focus group for the particular purpose of enriching their lives and keeping focus to what they desire to be and achieve in life. A focus group usually comprises people of diverse backgrounds from which different lessons can be learnt to realize a better result. For instance, my church groups’ people for spiritual and life growth through different courses, through these, people learn important life lessons, establish lasting friendships and associations and others just get it on and marry. Teamwork, team spirit and team belonging is such a crucial aspect of humanity, we are meant to relate with each other, for our own good. Finding such a belonging can help one realize a wholesome growth.

Life Plan;

I have met very few people who have a plan for their lives. Most are passive spectators, watching their lives unfold a day at a time. They may plan their careers, the building of a new home, or even a vacation. But it never occurs to them to plan their life. As a result, many end up discouraged and disillusioned, wondering where they went wrong.’ Not my words, those are Michael Hyatt’s.

Living on purpose requires a plan just like any meaningful objective we seek to achieve. We will take time to strategize on what, how and when to go about stuff we desire to see through. We also assign timelines and responsibility; we invest resources and lots of time to enable realization of a success. It is important that we see our personal lies this way too. Most of us tend to have abstract plans in our heads as of what we want and when we want to see certain things through. We don’t invest time and resource in seeing that we have methodology to successful realizes so. As such we end up with one morning hitting our heads hard when we realize it didn’t happen as hoped. A simple life plan needs to just have three priorities;

  • Objectives/ Goals
  • Priorities
  • Action Plans

With these in life, we can realize a focus and establish a normalcy within which we can see through our most important life goals. I don’t know about you, but having served as a Strategy and Performance Advisor for some time, I seek to employ some of the corporate tactics and structures in what I want to see through in life, have clearly marked strategic objectives, action plans and even give myself a performance contract as of what I will term as achievements and failures, and how I will also get past what I fail, and celebrate what I desire… It starts this December, from Jinja Falls, Uganda with the lady of my life, we shall be helping each other come up with some important life milestones we want to see… well, besides fun, and what will make some of you choke with ‘uwivu’.

Have a Strategic weekend people! Cheers!

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