Me I Love Nairobi Traffic Regardless…

Before I even go further with whatever this post will become, I must share the most played song so far on my play list for the past one to two weeks. ‘Ni kii Kiega, Eric Wainaina’. If anyone hears the guy is performing somewhere, please let me know. This is all I will pay to go dance to. That is all.

NOTE: Apologies if you embody or resemble any of the motorists referred to here. Nothing personal, just Traffic.

This morning driving to work traffic was particularly heavy in comparison to what it has been the last few weeks. People must have gotten salary advances, and bankers must have been paid… too many cars on the road. Anyway, seeing as traffic wasn’t easing up and whatever manoeuvres pulled wouldn’t make the car grow wings, the conversation with the Mrs centred on analysing the people in traffic with us…and boy, did we have a blast or what! Here’s to hoping no one was discussing us in traffic too.

Me I Love Nairobi Traffic regardless... (stolen from @Milonare)

Getting off Lusaka Road round about, a bullish driver in a blue Subaru legacy GT got into our way, forcefully. The occupants were some quite chubby individuals; they looked like they are in their late forties. Wondering why the fellow settled for the GT, we concluded the guy is suffering from a serious mid life crisis; he is definitely cheating on the wife. They didn’t seem very interested in whatever was happening around, much more like hurrying to drop the wife so he can focus on interesting stuff… LOL!

Changing lanes a few meters away from Toyota Kenya, a red Toyota Raum was adjacent to us. The lady was driving and busy on phone. I almost died from laughter as the Mrs went on to categorize them. They seemed like that couple where the wife is the deal maker, she runs all these businesses all over, from University way to Kangundo road (there is a road like that right?). The husband seemed intimidated most of the time; very much afraid like the unsculprous Kenyan politicians are of the new constitution. He probably manages one of the businesses that the wife runs somewhere. I am sure his day ends with the wife coming around to check on how much sales he has made…to the last coin. Poor guy.

A few meters ahead was a couple, in their early thirties, driving a fielder, Toyota Fielder; Isn’t this car like the most driven car since the Toyota 110’s? I see them everywhere! Then again, maybe it’s because I was like thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to owning one a few weeks ago. Anyway, we concluded they must have gotten a baby recently hence the more ‘spacious’ Japanese import ha ha! They seemed like a nice couple, the guy particularly still in love with the wife. If he weren’t, he would probably be trying to change lanes and getting into everyone’s way like the rest of the Fielder and Subaru Forester owners, believe me, they have ego issues…and I hear they have some other small things. Te he hee…

On the left, sigh. This was quite obvious ha haa. There was this lady driving a Ford Focus. Seriously, how do you walk to a bazaar or a car shop and buy a Focus? As in Focus? I am sure people don’t need to read it on your car to know you are focused! But anyway, the Focus lady wah! She had this huuuuge well woven weave… She probably visits her salonist every evening. She probably is single and cannot stand the time wasting boys in Nairobi. She didn’t seem quite happy either… what better way to kill time in traffic… she got her phone out midway Uhuru highway, she most certainly was tweeting the traffic frustration…or sharing a link from some website talking about Women and legal issues. LMAO!

I thought that was the most fun I could get in traffic until I saw this couple in some old silver Subaru Imprezza. I swear, this one just killed it, the lady looked far much older than the guy; most of the time she was staring at the rest of the traffic, not talking to the man. They must have fought last night from the look of things. Chances are very high that the man came home late from a date with his ‘campus funga’ and it must have gone south for him immediately he opened the door at home to the lady’s ‘cloud makelele’. The dude must seriously be pissed with the lady, she was plucking out beards from her chin half the time we were in traffic. As in plucking out one by one, looking at each of her ‘ndevus’ one after the other, and throwing them out through the window… sigh…

Anyway, Nairobi Traffic isn’t that bad after all. You could choose to entertain yourself! Guess today I will focus on pedestrians, see… there was this one girl in high heels carrying a huuuuuuge bag in the morning…

 

Eric Wainaina: “Ni Kii Kiega”

 

9 thoughts on “Me I Love Nairobi Traffic Regardless…

  1. Lol! Who plucks ndevus in traffic? Who even plucks ndevus?

    The most notorious and most common couple was not there? Wife half buried in a newspaper, occasionally looking up to snarl at the hubby for driving badly?

  2. “she most certainly was tweeting the traffic frustration…or sharing a link from some website talking about Women and legal issues. LMAO!”

    So that wasn’t a tad bit stereotypical?

    Loved the post though🙂

  3. Imprezza to Impress the girls!

    @Joliea the whole post is very stereotypical, take it with a light touch.

    It could also suggest this man and his Mrs are a bunch of judgmental bigots, but a light touch is better no?

  4. @Shiko, you’ll be suprised what you can observe in traffic he hee… Those couples were there definitely he hee…
    @Sibbie, why are you allowing me to get away with traffic tales when you are the Queen he heee…
    @Joliea, For the fun, disclaimer nini nini🙂 Making fun of situations within and around us🙂
    @kellie, indeed, imprezza to impress he heee catchy!

  5. hehe… after taking on the pedestrians, try cracking conversations of people sitting on one table in a restaurant! haha… my favourite!

  6. Wonderful blog! I definitely love how it’s easy on my eyes and also the data are well written. I am wondering how I might be notified whenever a new post has been made. I have subscribed to your rss feed which need to do the trick! Have a nice day!

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