Escapism Musings…

In 2007, I was back to school. Evening classes for my Computer Science post graduate. Somehow, I had found myself, an accountant by training working as a bank systems administrator; an idea that had been sold to me by my then voluntary mentor. He managed this by simply telling me that people go to school, university to prepare them for anything. The pitch of this sale came with reference to one of the minds I seriously admired back then, and still do… Dr. Mukhisa Kituyi, a Trade and Industry Minister who did so well, locally, regionally and internationally in his responsibility despite his training and profession bordering on Anthropology. As in for real, he holds a PhD in Anthropology… for what purpose?

Anyway, back then I was very much in control of everything that was. Life was much more organized and situations were very much bound. Things were quite in synch. Worry was foreign, limited to worrying about time to read for a CAT or an exam, finishing payment for the course and such. No one had much expectation of me, except my girlfriend then who thought driving a B15 was not so cool… Needless to say, that relationship ended, in a not so nice way and bore a bad boy. I remember blogging back then as Urban African… boy, was I a night runner or what! I keep moving away from the point…

Having something to purpose about can really help one find direction in just about every aspect of life. I subscribe to the thought that school was good, for some of us. We grew in environs that allowed us to follow schedule, natured our discipline and those that were goal and result driven. For instance I knew it was four years in high school, then my life will be shaped depending on the grade I got. Towards KCSE, the much desired Architecture career I dreamt of was quickly becoming a mirage. Fear perhaps, of lack of self belief confirmed so and I had alternative, Economics and Finance. As I studied this through college, I saw myself grow, knowing in another four years I was probably going to find myself at a bank, an NGO or a fund. I found myself in banking, and only managed to work as an accountant for much less than six months. For someone who’s fairly battling with purpose, wonder and direction at this point, it suddenly doesn’t make sense that at some point I thought and wrote this…

Anyway, I miss school. Sigh… not the bad food, waking up at five AM and doing community work and finding myself playing golf (slashing grass as punishment) kind of missing…though that was kind of fun. I miss the preparedness, the focus and the determination to purpose that school brings. I have been through school as an employee. It was so much demanding. I remember in 2007 around August, I was together with my then boss at the centre of deploying a core banking solution with our team. I was not so much an actual expert on banking systems then. I was also doing my second semester exams.

We used to leave office sometimes after 2AM in the morning after working around codes for the system and it’s applications, getting home to sleep for about two hours, waking up at 5AM to try refreshing my mind with academics, head to office, go through a whole day of training and deploying systems, grabbing a lunch box as I tried to read through Cobol and such programming notes and ending up sometimes a whole half an hour late for an exam in college. After exam periods were characterized with random drinks or bites with some class mates and let’s just say I had interesting day ends through that phase. Archermishale will know, factoring in events that led him to introduce me to blogging, at 3AM at Hooters pub after we were thrown out of Club Sound from fracas that resulted from a whole bunch of imbibed cousins and acquaintances.

I have an admission, two admissions; to JKUAT and another to USIU. I was supposed to go back to school last year, around September. It happens my life was quite… a handful back then and my ‘wisdom’ pushed the agenda to January 2011. Sigh, Al Shabaab had their own ideas too, there is much more pain than loss of an eye so far, I really hope the effect of this whole blast will be a story someday, right now it’s really difficult to walk through some days. Anyway, With Al Shabaab, I moved the admission to May… Sigh, now the Doctor’s review and schedules for surgery and so much trouble in my life now as is makes it even harder. With surgery coming up in April and possibility of being incapacitated for another fairly two months, I find myself pushing further to September… really, or what is? Should I just give up and move on? Education is priceless… (despite the exorbitant fees). I really need a distraction; I really need one distraction, one that I can focus dearly and passionately on. I will get me to school one way or another… This could help.

Maybe I can rise up early at 4AM again to watch CNN, read a book, grab my milk and banana and leave for work, give my employer his worth, go to school and learn and come back home with less mmmh, loss of focus and room for what’s it… panic? Escapism… This one would tell me.

All in all, September, back to school.

Playlist: Soma; Sauti Sol

3 thoughts on “Escapism Musings…

  1. I read the post and felt like you were describing what I am currently going through..work and postgraduate studies!
    And playing ‘golf’ back in high scholol..sigh..seems like am not the only one who slashed grass!
    Good stuff

  2. Going back to school lends life to some sort of rhythm and gives some stability through tough times. Or it’s so tough, everything else looks easier. I can’t tell the difference, as I went back to school at a very tough time, and CFA manenos sort of made everything easier.

    Yeah, and that PHD needs to happen before 35 *me subtly applying pressure*

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