Clouds Of Terror and Fickle Life

My condolences to those who’ve lost their loved ones as a result of the #WestgateAttack. My best wishes to those still in pain, despair and fear of what days ahead hold. My deepest sorrows to victims of other attacks in Kenya that do not get as much attention and prominence. It will be well, almost, eventually. Hang in there and do not give up.

Primary concern for victims is in getting well. Whether they can have normal function thereafter. Whether they can meet their obligations. Settling medical bills. Whether they will be able to handle their responsibilities after the dust settles; for those who’ll be lucky to. Then there is the individual challenges. Will everyone treat them as they did before? Will their associations and relations wane or build? Will they hold with them determination and purpose towards things they’re passionate about? Then dealing with personal insecurities – like how they will look and feel. With the ever present reminders when they meet people. Straight from the greetings: ‘Is your -insert given body part- Okay now?’ or… ‘Oh My God, what happened?’. It becomes part of life.

Or when circumstance forces new knowledge. Not because it builds you but in search for answers. For instance, reading about terrorism. Seeking to understand the satisfaction behind inflicting pain, or killing. Or religion and spirituality. Seeking answers from powers beyond. Why me? Why now? What did I do? What next? Questions. Anger. Authorities – what do they do?

Paranoia. Constant worry. When there is a reminder every time you go to a given place or see something. When your movement is guided by fear of such events. Should I park at the basement or in the open? Do I meet someone in a restaurant or at home or in the office? Where do I alight? The bus stop downtown or at a less crowded stage? When you handle everyone with suspicion. Why is (s)he on the phone for long? What are they carrying in those bags? Everything changes. You cannot help it. I know because I walk through this, daily.

One thing I’ve found common in my days in recent years is the number of people I know passing on. A former classmate, a friend or an associate. You focus on something for a little bit only to lift your head to news that so and so is no more. Illness, accident…something has put a fullstop to their being. Fickle – life. Living knowing you could be next. For every moment we walk this space, a stark reminder guides our days – it’s by grace.

Rest In Peace Idd Salim. We were not friends but we were well acquainted. From the random meetings at K1 to occasional greetings at The iHub whenever I summoned courage to walk into that open space with people staring at machines like they’re robots. To the time we talked about fundraising for one of your projects. Plenty of testimonies have been given about you. Till we meet again.

To many others gone or struggling with something, may God see you through. Life and it’s general nonsense.

Just A Moment – Nas Ft. Quan.

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